Words Can Be Weapons

Words can be weapons.  Words can be wise.  Words wielded unvetted can compromise…

…your relationships.  Your job.  Your integrity.  Your self, and your life.


It has been said that words were used to create the world.  To create the entire universe…


If this is true – perhaps each word that we speak is incredibly powerful.  Or can be…

Even thoughts are words…and audible words are thoughts being spoken.


Words can kill someone’s spirit.  Words can be used to tarnish someone’s reputation…sometimes forever.  Words can be used to uplift, to energize, to express love. And words can be used to twist, to create chaos, and confusion.


Many people use words for ill purposes consciously…and these people cannot truly feel.  For if they could, they would not be able to handle the gut-wrenching sadness that comes from knowing that you hurt someone with something that you said.  The pain of watching how one hurtful phrase could completely transform someone’s entire view of *themselves* …  into one of shame, self-doubt, sadness, and worthlessness.  All it takes is one thoughtless sentence.  One self-centered slip of the tongue.  And that person you shot out at, while they may try to hide it to save some pride – is struck with a sick, black arrow, dripping with bane that has sunk itself into their heart and their perception of themselves.

You may not have meant to – because perhaps you weren’t really thinking about it – but your words can crush.  It is a terrible realization for those of us who easily feel other people’s feelings…but even for your average, everyday “feeler” – it can be crippling to realize how negative words affect another person.

While others may use this knowledge to their advantage – knowing exactly the right words to use, or not use (silence) to manipulate, groom, orchestrate or control the situation or another person to their liking…and indeed it truly can be used for intent to emotionally conquer another…those of us who have seen this happen, or have had it happen to us, I think have an even more comprehensive understanding of how this all affects us and others.  And perhaps we are even more keen to a hyper-awareness when we, ourselves show any inkling of having a negative impact on another person in the same way.

To crush another person’s soul (which may sound dramatic, but that really is what is happening!) with our words because *we* are too careless or *we* are too impatient to stop thinking just of ourselves for five minutes… is absolutely tragic.  The impact of your words may linger for days, for weeks for months, or for years.  Your words might have an impact on that persons entire perception of themselves, of their life, of their reality, etc.


Choose your words wisely, my friends.  You have the power to hurt or to heal with them. If you are feeling impatient – just stop.  Don’t say anything.  Its not worth it.


You can’t take your words back.


You can apologize. But the damage is already done.

Be careful.  Use your words to heal, to uplift, to encourage, and to instill kindness.  I think it takes more discipline than the greatest kung fu master there ever was…

to stop yourself, regardless of your hurry, your situation, your feelings, your frustration…….and think about what you’re going to say before you say it.

It is important to speak the truth as well – but it is about how you say it.  If you are going to deliver a message by cutting another person down, then your message is worthless.  And their feelings become a thousand times more valuable than your tactless delivery.


Be wise – slow down – and think before you speak…it will always be worth it.



Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.



Not my plans

When your plans for yourself are not what has been planned for you…you must surrender.  You must surrender to the fact that you are not in control!  We really think we know what is best.  What is best for ourselves, what is best for others, what is best for the world, etc, etc, etc.  But the reality is that there is (clearly) something far greater that has a much larger hand and influence of arrangement over some of these circumstances.

Not only that – but if *we* were in charge of everything that happened to us…where do you think we would be?  Would we make all of the right choices for ourselves?  How would we know what lessons need to be learned?  And would we create circumstances to teach ourselves those lessons?  I think not.  Most of us would likely create a reality based on our perfect image.  Keyword – our perfect image…not necessarily the image that is perfect for us.

What would that look like?  For a lot of people, it would look like nice clothes, the fanciest bag, the sleekest car, the nicest house, the best of friends, the perfect job where we get to exercise all of our greatest skills and talents (although, what would be the point of that if everyone else is living their perfect life too and have no use for our innovation or creativity?), and whatever else you can think of to create a life of glorious content.

Think about this.  This goes down a rabbit hole rarely explored.  And one that should be looked at if we, for a moment, think that we are in charge here…

I can recall a time in my life where I flat out refused to listen to the voice tugging at me, saying, “This is wrong…No…go the other way,” for years, in fact!  I was so convinced that I *needed* to make the choices I was making and was so fearful of the unknown abyss that awaited me on the other side if I were to listen to that nudging voice, that I forced myself to stay in and try to nurture situations that were absolutely wrong for me.

I must have believed to a far enough extent that *I* knew better…that my choices for myself at the time, instead of stopping…asking…listening…and in a sense, surrendering to trust that I would be shown the next step if I only went in the direction I was really being guided (a direction I did NOT want to go in because I was terrified of what might happen to me if I left my comfort zone, which was ironically incredibly uncomfortable!) were the choices I should make.

Welp, here’s where it gets really fun.  Regardless what *we* think is right for us – we will ultimately be ushered into the place we are supposed to be, whether that is with our enthusiasm or against our will.  And that place we are ushered to…will be more right for us than anything we could have ever dreamt up or planned ourselves.  Doors will open.  We will meet people we never thought we would meet.  Miracles will happen.  Circumstances will arrange themselves in a way that only a true artist of creation could facilitate.  Beyond magic.

Of course thats usually after the natural disasters happen that completely reshape our landscape…but I think once we go through a nice enough volcano explosion of reality-reshaping – the lava covering all and hardening to form a crust that eventually grows beautiful lush, tropical foliage… after pulling what we thought we knew from our fingertips…we learn to listen.  We learn to listen, and we learn to trust.  We learn that we are not in charge.

There are always subtle knowing messages of guidance that come often in the form of a very small, muted voice…or a feeling in our body…or just a general “sense” of something. But when we’re fearful, those cues usually are not enough to sway us.  We hang on for dear life to the swinging vines above that lava…instead of heeding the rumblings of the mountain ahead of time.  And we will always be given a second chance.  Life is regeneratively forgiving, and wants us to thrive and be successful…but we can help this along, and in the end, be more available for others and to truly serve our higher purpose if we will allow ourselves to be guided.  If we will try to listen, know that we don’t always know best…to ask for those answers and to be shown the right way…it will always open up.

I didn’t choose my path.  I finally surrendered, and allowed myself to be guided.  This time, by the right thing.

I don’t have time for you.

Too many, too many times have I spoken harshly or been impatient with others because *I* am stressed out, or *I* don’t have the time to slow down, or *I* am just so focused on myself that other people seem like foreign obstacles dotting the tunnel vision of my busyness.

Too many times do I feel my heart break as I respond a little too coldly to another person’s kind or innocent question. Times when I feel overwhelmed or overburdened, or worried, or the like…that I speak unkindly out of fear that I’m not going to get to where I’m trying to go, or that things aren’t going to get done, or that things might not turn out the way I wish that they would, or if someone does something that bothers me.

It is these times when I know that I am too focused on myself, and not focused enough on trusting, being patient, and asking myself how I can make someone else’s day a little bit brighter? Making the effort to respond with kindness and enthusiasm when you aren’t feeling 100% up to speed is not easy. Many times, it feels impossible. But think about how the following 2 scenarios affect our own day:

Scenario #1:

You’re a cashier at a gas station, and the patron at the counter is buying a soda. You’re in a pretty good mood, and you decide to smile and ask the patron,

“Hows your day goin? Do you have any fun plans for the weekend?”

They respond quickly and sharply without even looking up.

“No – Not really – I’m moving.” Their tone cuts your inquiry into a a few large shards that fall quickly into a heap on the floor. Your mood instantly plummets and you feel hit with their negative energy, a little stunned, and as they walk away, you feel a wave of sadness and wonder why you even put yourself out on a limb to ask a stranger a question about their day in the first place.

The patron was in a hurry, feeling rushed with many worries on their mind…which of course you didn’t know, and only felt the aftereffects of their self-centered carelessness.

Scenario #2:

You’re walking down the street through a section of town saturated with young, homeless vagrants. They’re dirty, dressed in shades of gray and all sitting in collective pairs or heaps on the corresponding street corners. As you walk by, you hear one of them call out,

“Hey! You’re beautiful!“.

Their words, because you are feeling drained and tired – instead of hitting you like a kind compliment – hit you like an energy suck. A hungry arrow that has struck you from a person who wants your attention and has disguised their ploy for it in the form of calling out something flattering to you.

As you keep walking, wrapped up in yourself, your thoughts, and how this is affecting *you*, decide to turn around and explain to the young man that his compliment is not appreciated. His eyes light up as you approach him, until you open your mouth…

“Hi.” You say, “I just wanted you to know that when you yell stuff like that out – it doesn’t feel good. It feels like you’re trying to pull at me, and I’m just trying to walk down the street…” You expect him to understand, or ask a question, or learn something from this and hopefully not impart the same terrible fate upon another victim “just trying to walk down the street”.


Instead, a wave of shame comes over his eyes… and a strain of sadness that he attempts to hide, but you don’t think you’ve ever seen before…


“I’m sorry..” He says, quietly, and looks down – while his friend sitting close by is half smiling like a panting dog – trying not to laugh.


Your work is done there, and so you straighten up, and walk on – thinking “they’ll thank me later”.

But the further you get down the street…the more a red wave of that sadness you felt in the boy washes over you. And suddenly you feel his pain and are filled with the realization that you’ve made a grave mistake.

He wasn’t trying to pull at you. He was a homeless kid sitting on the corner, who saw a beautiful girl walk by, and thought that maybe if he could shout out and remind her of how beautiful she was – that he would make her day better.

But you assumed the worst, just because you were tired, or in a bad mood. You crushed him. And his attempt from his lowly position at the foot of a stop sign to make your day better. Because of your self-centered attitude, you successfully ruined someone else’s day and put a tiny dagger in their heart.


These are the thing we don’t often think about. When we cut someone off on the road, when we speak in a harsh tone to people we love, when we act impatiently in any way towards others…When we allow our self-centered reality to be what dictates how we treat other people…

It really is cause to hang our heads and ask ourselves why? And how? Are we going to change this… What are we going to do to condition ourselves to be graceful…kind…patient…loving…selfless…and true to what is right. We aren’t perfect and it isn’t always easy – but we can try. We create new habits by changing our old ones and conditioning ourselves to behave better.

But first we have to want to.   And we have to be willing to try – to turn our train on its rusty tracks sometimes over and over again until success – even when its painful or our fragile egos writhe with resistance…

to ever be the way we are really meant to be.

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.