When bad things happen – we think, “HOW could this happen? HOW could God let this happen to someone?? HOW could this be allowed to happen to me??”
We try to figure out who is to blame. Who we can lay that blame on in order to help rectify the flesh tearing disassociation within our psyches. Our poor souls and minds don’t know how to reconcile the experience of the deepest evil that exists. And many of us experience it or have experienced it directly.
Who is responsible for this? Who allowed this evil in? Who allowed the situation to exist that created fertile soil for trauma, for horror, for sickness, for torture, for destruction?
Sadness, anger, confusion, rage, and war against whoever or whatever is responsible for these evils sprout and take root.
And it is here that there is a turning point. We may shun or block out all of the things or people that we feel are responsible for our pain…and that may be justified. We may war against them to either make a point or to rid the world of their recipe for disaster. And this may also be justified. But one thing that we have to remember, is that EVERY act of evil, trauma, and horror – in the end…is transformed to be used for good.
We don’t need trauma – and it is unfortunate that we must endure it in this reality – but when trauma and horror are induced or inflicted upon us…we can be guaranteed that should we choose to recognize it – that same trauma can be transformed and transmuted to become the opposite of itself. That happens through allowing ourselves to grieve what we have lost due to that trauma within ourselves, or within our lives – and then once we have come out the other side — USING that trauma as fuel. Fuel to then help others. Fuel to battle evil with passion by serving those who are now going through what we ourselves endured or saw.
Don’t let the evil that occurs in this world – whether it has occurred in your own home, in your relationships, in your family, or out in the world where you walk every day…to fool you into sitting there and simply being angry. Forgive the ones who didn’t do enough. Forgive the ones who didn’t stop that evil from getting to you and hurting you. And if you can’t forgive the perpetrators of evil themselves (because we all know how incredibly difficult that can be) – at least see that these people and these things are simply being used by this evil. They are pawns. And one day they will expire and have to answer for their deeds, if they do not wake up first.
We are all at battle, every day – and we have to know that the conditioning that we’ve been through, and the evils that we ourselves have endured – happened so that we might equip ourselves with a sword. The sword of truth is one that can be wielded in a way that will allow us to stand up for others. To give, to serve, and to protect others from the evil that perhaps once tried to split our own soul in two by causing us to simply be angry. Instead of grieving our loss, standing back up, and picking up that sword, not with intent to hurt – but with intent to love and to protect.
I don’t know why terrible things happen. But they do, and they can be mind-splitting. I also know that it is possible to heal from the most hellish experiences, and that those of us who have come back from those things have a responsibility to be strong. Not to blame – but to forgive where we can, and figure out what we can do to help the rest of our fellow human beings.
Whether that simply means being a good person, being kind, being loving, being patient. Or whether that means really digging in and relating to those who are now more helpless than we are who are going through what we have been through.
All of these things happen for a reason…
And while the true purpose of why we, or others had to suffer may not be clear right away – we must eventually try to see and listen for what this purpose is…and then take action.
For while it may seem so… no hurt has ever, ever been in vain – nor should we ever let it be.
Some Helpful Sites for Dealing with Grief – whether it be a death, a life change, the end of a relationship, a personal trauma (something that happened to you) — all types of loss whether personal or relational pull in the need to grieve. Without proper grieving, healing becomes more difficult and anger can claim its space inside one’s psyche. Please take advantage of the many resources that exist for how to grieve a loss.
Grieving a Death or Loss of a Loved One:
Coping With Loss
Dealing with Sudden, Accidental or Traumatic Death
Other Types of Grief:
Grieving After An Abusive Relationship
Grieving After Being With a Predator
“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.”
–Washington Irving