“I should be able to drink. Why should I restrict myself?? GOSH, I hate people trying to control me! Just because other people think I have a problem with alcohol, doesn’t mean that I do.

Just because I go overboard with it sometimes, doesn’t mean I can’t control myself!

Just because I’ve had an issue with it in the past, doesn’t mean that I can’t handle having just one glass of wine here and there or a couple of beers once in a while…

Its not like I drink hard alcohol anymore.

Never mind the fact that it creeps up me and eventually find myself buying a 6 pack or a 12 pack or 2 bottles of wine and drinking it all in one night! That doesn’t happen very often.

Honestly, I think the people who decide to quit drinking are real alcoholics who just couldn’t stop. I can totally stop. If I wanted to, I would. It wouldn’t be a big deal.

No, I don’t think drinking affects my daily life or my decision making.

I mean, its not like I’m ALWAYS drinking! I make very clear, rational decisions when I’m sober…even when I’m a little hung over from the night before.

And I don’t ever plan my day or night around drinking or being able to drink.

I also don’t ever choose who I hang out with based on whether they are going to have a drink with me or not… How many times do I have to say this??

I DON’T. CENTER. MY PLANS. AROUND DRINKING. Geez…

You know what, its just really nice to be able to have a cocktail and relax. What’s the big deal? It doesn’t matter if I’ve had issues with alcohol in the past — I was going through some really stressful times! Its different now. Now I just drink casually. And after work to relieve stress. And at lunch. And on the weekends, you know, if my friends are going out.

I only got really drunk once last month. That isn’t that crazy. The rest of the times I was just buzzed. I don’t know why people have to be so judgemental. They’re so preachy.

And they’re probably all just wound up and jealous because they need a drink! Hahaha.

Having a drink or two every night does not make you an alcoholic…

Yeah, people really need to just mind their own business and know that each person is different.

Just because you had a problem with alcohol, doesn’t mean that I do.   Why should I have to restrict myself?

I’m fine.”

Note to Reader: If one cannot detect the dripping sarcasm in this piece, please go back and re-read.

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